25 Random Things About Money

1. May or may not buy happiness; the debate continues...
2. Is a representation of energy and a promise to relinquish some of that energy
3. Implement wielded by Madoff to cut swath of mass destruction
   
4. Has no more power than you are willing to give it (but if you do give it power, it can reciprocate by driving a sane person mad; from panic to joy, hope, despair, and suicide)
   
5. Is extremely busy; is multinational, multilingual, never goes on vacation, never sleeps
6. Is the driver of a steep divorce rate
7. May make you more popular, prettier and smarter-appearing
8. Is neuter, thus innocent in and of itself
   
9. Is neither religious, moral, immoral, right, wrong or evil
10. Is not the measure of a woman
    
11. Is rumored to be the root of all evil
12. Is, truth be told—not the root of all evil
13. Is verrrrry sexy (depending on the beholder)
    
14. Compelled Mark Antony to marry Cleopatra
15. Is what Judas got for selling out Jesus
16. Had an ugly role in racial history as an object of exchange for humans
    
17. Yet—is only a number in your head
    
18. Can reveal true friends (when making itself scarce)
    
19. Creates celebutantes and deranged governors
    
20. Is, in capitalism, commonly used as a standard unit of measure of one's intrinsic worth
    
21. Hides (but not so well), between the lines on many a list of "what I want in a prospective husband"
    
22. Has been known to buy freedom and justice
23. Is powerless to save you from a terminal illness, plummeting airliner or terrorist attack
24. Drives my emotions more than I care to admit—so I won't
25. Has no value of its own

And another: Plays hard to get, but will leave you in an instant without so much as a look back or a teary farewell.